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Coming to Terms with the Diagnosis

The diagnosis of diabetes can trigger sadness, anger, and helplessness, emotions usually associated with grief as you mourn the previous state of your health, says John Zrebiec, M.S.W., CDE, associate director of Behavioral Health Services at the Joslin Diabetes Center in Boston. Zrebiec is a member of the Diabetic Living editorial advisory board.

"It's also common to worry how others will treat you," he says. "Will you lose the respect of your colleagues? Will you be able to hold up your side of the marriage? Will you lose friends or family members?"

Before you are ready to tell others about your diabetes, you have to accept it. Here are some of the factors involved:

Your reaction to diabetes depends on personal experience. People whose family members suffered devastating consequences from diabetes are often more fearful and upset than those whose relatives coped effectively.

How you define yourself in relation to diabetes will define how you present yourself to others, says Zrebiec.

Your outlook and self-perception will come into play. Do you perceive yourself as dependent or independent, optimistic or pessimistic, normal or sick?

Take action: Be informed and stay positive. Once you accept diabetes, you will be able to tell others -- if you want to.

Bill Ford, 61, of Milwaukee says he was racked with guilt, shock, and anger when he found out he had type 2 diabetes three years ago. He blamed his unhealthful habits and didn't want to tell people about the diagnosis.

As Bill learned more about diabetes and took steps to improve his health (he lost 70 pounds and trimmed 14 inches from his waist), he became more confident about discussing his condition. These days, he welcomes the opportunity. When a grocery clerk recently asked him how he slimmed down, Bill told her he had diabetes and it "scared me into cleaning up my act." He has since given a presentation about diabetes to his coworkers.